Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
don't judge my taste in strippers
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Randomize
