i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
