idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
