We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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