Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
