This is not my ceiling
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
