got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
