It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
