i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
