why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
