someone get that fucking seahorse.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
