Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He uses pillows to masturbate.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
