Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
