Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
