Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize