oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
