I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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