So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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