I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
