My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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