just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
