Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize