Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
