I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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