There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
420 ftw
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
