okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
