he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
