Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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