can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize