I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
