May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
