I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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