How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
