I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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