I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
