This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
