How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
