Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
