Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Do vagina's smell?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize