there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
