Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
