You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
