we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
