3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
