He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You were trust falling into bushes
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