I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
