I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
