In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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