I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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