just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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