she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
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