How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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