Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
