Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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