somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
