So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize