All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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