U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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