Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
