VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
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