I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
