i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
