ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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