She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You made out with two different species that night
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
