Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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